MILWAUKEE, Saturday, June 12, 1976. In a ceremony that observers are already calling the event of the season, Margaret & Tom Ellis exchanged vows before a gathering of family and friends. Witnesses report that the couple appeared radiant, the cake was generously proportioned, and not a single dry eye remained in the house.

Those close to Margaret & Tom Ellis predict a marriage marked by Sunday drives, slow dances in the kitchen and fifty years of friendly crossword rivalry. Experts consulted by this newspaper declined to argue the point.

Sources further indicate that Margaret & Tom Ellis will often be heard declaring, with characteristic conviction, "We'll take the scenic route." A phrase this reporter expects to be repeated at family gatherings for decades.